My Ladder Consequences!!

Man, this ladder shit makes so much sense! For example, looking at my past relationships & approach I realize that I fall into a few pitfalls.

Ladder Disparity:
"The ladder is obviously a two-way process. It often happens that one person is a lot higher on your ladder than you are on theirs, or vice versa."

Shit so true! I’ve never been in a relationship where the girl was at the top of my ladder! But at the time of the relationship, I think (yes, think – can’t be 100% sure) I was fairly high on their ladders!

The authour states that the person who is higher on the ladder is in the "power" postion:
"If the man is in the upper position the disparity is a measure of how long the woman will put up with him cheating, using her physically without committing, or paying his rent and all his bills.
If the woman is in the power position then it is a measure of how much the man will spend money on her, fetch her things at midnight, and listen to stories about other guys she is fucking."

Yeah, most of my relationship I was in the power position because fuck I had bigger & more important priorities on my mind (or so I felt). And hence, I had no loss or regret / remorse for ending it or continuing to neglect the relationship. At times, I was willing to compromise - and as time when on I compromised more because hey the relationship was going somewhere. Towards the end I often gave lots of compromise - but was often faced with an ultimatum... so fuck, I choose what was important to me: Myself!! Shit I am an only child!

Another interesting consequence:
Topping Out the Ladder: (theory refers to average joes w/ superhot partners)
Ladder theory states that the average joe should not be envied - but rather pitied.
"Ladder theory tells us that the purpose of life is to move up the ladder. When their relationship ends, he will probably never be able to get another woman as good as the one he is with right now -- the rest of his life he'll likely be striving in vain. In effect, he's doomed the whole rest of his life to meaninglessness unless he marries this girl. This of course is just trading one type of doom for another."

Very true. I think the reason I have never thought about marriage is because I have never topped out the ladder!! I always attributed it to not being ready (not finishing school, working, being successful) - but no! The actual truth is I have not found someone who tops my ladder! If I did - I would probably get married much like my friend who'd been dating for less than a year!

Other interesting facts:
Friends With Benefits: Women are more interested in long-term relationships than men, and consent to this form of relationship because there is ladder disparity in favor of the male.

Exes: The usual pattern for exes is to try to be friends, realize it's not going to really work, and then become more and more distant toward each other over time. In any case, if you continue to fuck for a while, then you continue to fuck. You wouldn't have had a relationship with them if they were not on the real ladder, so if it's convienient there's really no reason not to.


Wow! Another revelation! Recall a few posts ago I discussed blackballing! I believe blackballing is the complete removal of one from your ladder (or stepstool). If you see nothing positive coming about from it - complete removal is one option. With exes, you sometimes demote them down your ladder... but sometimes, in extreme circumstances (ie. a bad breakup) complete removal is often choosen! Interesting!! I LOVE LADDER THEORY!

Now here are some other consequences!! That superhot chick I met - she's waaaaay up there on my ladder! Maybe even topping out compliant! So shit! Now I have to approach the situation without somehow landing on the wrong ladder (friends). Which is difficult due to semi-mutual friends. And I also need to stop falling into the “friends” pitfall – which my nice guy approach often leads me into!

And another note, my puppy love crush... I realized that it was demoted quite a couple of ladder rungs. Especially, after california (for reasons not to be mentioned out loud - lol - but how loud it was). "Ei Papi!!" ha ha! Siccck! I love california!!

But in general after comtemplating the Ladder Theory - I agree with it & feel the reference is 90-95% accurate (excluding of course his extreme exaggerations of some situations).

Oh and also it should be noted: That some guys (for example extremely religious, or whatever), the phrases about having sex with women can be modified to "want to" have sex with women. Because often when guys don't put-out of sorts, it's because they are holding out for some reason (marriage, religion, abstance, whatever) - BUT the DESIRE for sex is still there, whether they act on it or not. So Ladder Theory still applies!