Thesis Dilemma

Damn... So Gaj got himself into a little bit of a predicament. Fourth Year starts in 25 days & I still haven't confirmed my thesis or even decided on a topic!! Talk about screwed!

I have the ideal prof I'd want to do my thesis under. In fact, I contacted him back in February asking to discuss possible thesis topics & to inform him of my "strong" interest. We corresponded a few times but that fell through because of the time difference, work & his availability. Shit I shouldn't blame it on that... It was my fault for not working harder to follow up. I kept postponing it. Now here I am back in toronto - yet that Prof is on vacation till 14 days before classes start. Damn, my dad always used to say - "don't wait until things are convenient for you, because at that time things might not be convenient for the rest of the world." Shit - so true!

Now what do I do. I have no idea if this prof has accepted other students, or would even still accept me. There are other profs I guess, other options I guess - but my heart is kind of set on this avenue. And I'm sure other profs are not going to appreciate me approaching them in the last few weeks of summer.

So what do I do? Do I approach the "senior scientists" of this profs lab & ask them about their research in hopes of gaining a topic. That has several problems cause from fingering them (okay, don't get dirty now - it's a UNIX application to check the status of a user, i.e. when they last logged in, received email, checked email, etc), it seems that the "senior scientists" check their mail daily - but the grad students (the two I could find) haven't check their email since October?? Is that even right? - well, that's what finger says.

But what? Ask the scientists about thesis topics... then find out the prof can't accept me? I am afraid of being rejected by this prof - and that's clouding my judgment on how to proceed. I'm afraid of getting on his bad side, or irritating his scientists or even worse him. At the same time, I'm afraid to approach other profs because it is so late - but if I wait for an answer from my prof (& it is negative) I would be forced to approach other profs even later!!! But what if I approach other profs & get accepted - then accepted by my original prof??

Grrrr.. This is kinda frustrating? I haven't even been formally accepted by any prof - yet I'm planning ahead. Shit, I've been reading a book & it keeps talking about channeling & controlling your emotions. What does it say, "Be truthful about your emotions and use your mind and emotions in your favor, not against yourself." And "it's fear that is all too often doing the thinking."

So what do I do? Wait for my prof? Approach other profs? Ask other profs to be my backup (lol - I'm sure they'll love that)? Approach my prof's scientists independently & ask them to learn more about their research - in hopes of getting more guidance on a topic (if my prof does accept me & he might also like my initiative)? Damn, confused & yet so scared & afraid. Shit thesis is supposed to be like my highlight of my academic career & right now I haven't set shit up and am overflowing with fear!

I'm not afraid of failing. I know that no matter what is thrown at me, I'm gonna make it work. But I'm just afraid & unsure of the next step I should take?

Any suggestions?