Driving Forces!

Something struck me today... It's my bitterness, my anger. I mean, I'm generally a happy dude - everyone always see me smiling wide - teeth that glow in the dark, lol. But dude I have so much f*ckin anger built up inside that I've just never been able to release. Maybe that is why it only takes a little to tip me off? I bottle all that shit up & explode on minor issues.

I have f*ckin anger from my childhood - sounds retarded but true! Anger towards people from my childhood, anger towards the adminstration from high school - anger to people who block / delay what I'm trying to do.

But the thing that was interesting to realize was that.... My bitterness & anger are not only my one major flaw - but also my one major driving force!! When I set my mind to it - it is my desire, my competition, my anger that drives me. Like a boxer - I enjoy the "fight" till I win.

But it's this bitterness that usually makes me a brute at times. I mean I am a f*ckin brute - I don't like being pushed, I expect shit to go my way or no way! I expect people to listen, to obey, like a dictator. For sure I am a dictator at times! Which is probably not very cool... but then again there are some dictators who are successful.

Although, I know I expect a lot from people & the "my way or the highway" shit is totally not cool. But it's all good - identification is the first step in correcting a flaw.

Anyhow, it's a beautiful day outside... I'm gonna go for a ride through the mountains on my ninja. Peace.