Farewell BBQ

Last night, I organized a farewell BBQ for the old interns - after several failed attempts. My original attempts were foiled by the lack of participation from the other new interns. But I finally got things running (after some persistence).

So here is my beef: What do you do when people don't listen to your suggestion - when you KNOW your right - & do things inefficiently?

You see throughout my life ppl don't listen to me - instead they do what they think is best & eventually default back to my idea. I'm always at the point where I feel like saying "I told you so..." But I don't out of kindness {At least sometimes I don't ;) } Most of the time I think "fine, do it your way... you'll eventually see that it's not gonna work." But after it's fails I feel like I just wasted a huge chuck of my life! I feel that this may be a bad trait - but I'm not sure how to change it?

If you don't understand what I'm talking about, let me explain the events leading to the BBQ party: There were approximately 30 ppl coming, so I suggest that we buy enough meat. At first, they all agree - but then while shopping everyone attempts to skimp on the meat! The worst thing that can happen at a BBQ is not have enough meat! After several arguements, I finally got them to buy enough meat - & you know what? The meat pretty much finish w/o any left overs. Why didn't you listen to me in the first place? Instead of having to convince you over 45 mins of my life?

Okay, number 2: Buy enough charcoal & lighter fluid. Then let's start the fire. "no gaj, don't put lighter fluid on the charcoal.... that's enough lighter fluid... let's cook the food on the flames from the lighter fluid... let's close the lid (& cut off the oxygen) so the lighter fluid can burn on the coal... " God Damn. The propane doesn't work - so how the hell are you gonna get the charcoal to burn? There is no kindeling & you want to cook off the flames of the lighter fluid? Have you ever BBQ before? Damn, have you ever started a FIRE before? I guess not! After a while, I somewhat flipped - I yelled "Give me 5 god damn minutes w/ the lighter fluid & charcoal and I'll have the BBQ started!!" Low & behold 7 mins later the coal is burning a nice golden orange. Now that's what you BBQ on!

Then the maintenance & clean up. Halfway through we run out of buns (cause they claim I told em to buy 48 buns... (I said "3 X 24" = 48? nope)... damn it... they were there when we bought 3 stacks of 24 beef paties... why the hell would... whatever. So "Can anyone go to the store & pick up some more buns?" (Anyone out of the close the 20 new interns?) - No response. After 10 mins of searching... I went back home (a good 5 min walk), geared up & rode my mtfkin bike to the store! And the clean up! Good god - thanx for throwing things in the garbage right after you eat. I spend a good 30 mins cleaning up after most ppl. I pretty much cleaned up 95% (a few ppl helped for a few mins & even held the bag open while I scavenged garbage off the ground - after all it is my aprt complex).

So why do I do all of this? Why do I take on the responsiblity of running / organizing things. In the end they are usually a success (i.e the Vegas trip, BBQ, etc). But I end up running around cleaning up after everyone? Why don't I stop? Because, if I don't no one else will. i.e. why haven't we gone on any trips in cali? Cause no one will organize them. The only thing ppl want to do is go clubbin'! lol. Okay, it's good for one or two nights... but every week - come on man! I got better shit to do than that!

Is it because I'm older? I'm 23... everyone else is 21-22. Does one year make a difference? Or is it because I'm an only child & I've pretty much been independent since the age of 5? Or maybe because as a kid, I always grew up with an older, rougher crowd? Why is it that I feel like the ppl around me are way to unorganized? I feel like saying "Shit man - get your fukin' act together!"

Damn am I just bitching? Yeah, I think I am... It's to be expected - I'm just tired of running / organizing shit for other ppl, especially when they don't really help out.

What prompted this post? Well, I (or at least my body) woke up this morning at 6am after a long, hectic, late night - (what's the deal with that?) . And I thought to myself: Okay, let's buy a pickup truck. Let's try to sell your bike. Truthfully, your bike was a decent buy - but mechanically, it's not really in top notch shape. The throttle kinda jams, the engine is alright - but sounds kinda old & fading (it is a '99 w/ 16,000 MILES - not km - on it, which is kinda high for a bike). Maybe, you should just sell it & try to make as much money back as possible. After all I did use it for like a month maybe that's worth ~$200 in losses.

I can always get a bike later... & besides roomate1 (rmt1) & rmt2 just bought bikes too... but I don't really enjoy riding with them - cause I feel that rmt1 takes too many risks & disrespectful manoevers (disrespectful to other riders / cars). Then there's rmt2 who just bought a bike here & is learning & doesn't have much skill yet - he doesn't really follow the blocking position while riding; hence, it's a bitch to ride behind him.

I might lose some money on the bike sale & maybe even some loss on the insurance (incase, I buy a bike later on w/ a higher insurance rate). But at least, I'll be able to travel on my own. Am I being stupid? Is this the right move? Right now, in my gut, it feels like the right move. But it's gonna suck having to be stuck in traffic! lol. Especially, during rush hour. Yeah man. Truthfully, I'm not to comfortable with this bike... I feel like there is something wrong with it.... An ohmen or something.... it's been dropped twice. The mechanic is trying to fuck me (which I won't let happen - cause I don't let ppl fuk w/ me & get away with it - another bad trait I've come a accustomed to, but must change). Yes, I've decided. I'm gonna sell my bike, even if it means a loss - it was the lessons that were learnt (if any - well, there were a few).

Well that's it for now. (s0rry, no time to proof read - kind late for work now)